Valentine's Day for Singles

For a single individual, and especially one experiencing what St John of the Cross named the dark night of the soul (link), Valentine's Day is not a very welcomed holiday. Celebrating romantic love on this day is not shared in isolation. I am fairly certain I will not be quoting from nor reading Song of Solomon today. Instead, I am reminded of Solomon's words: "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed" (Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT; read also Ecclesiastes 4:10-12).

To be lonely on Valentine's Day: it is a presence of depression that can almost be felt. While lovers are celebrating their love (or the idea of love), I am reminded that I am not loved romantically -- at least, I am unaware of being loved romantically by anyone with an unquenchable infatuation (I deserve to be at least slightly droll on a day like this).

What can a single person such as myself (or you) do in participating in the celebration of Valentine's Day? Why not do something good for someone else? If I really do have love to give, I can express it by doing something nice, helpful or selfless for someone else. I can remember that I am, by far, not alone in my loneliness on this day. I can remember widows and other singles who may need some comfort and company today.

I can also remember friends whose spouses may be far away from their loved ones on this romantic day. Whether a spouse was called away on business, or is in the military, such a one may need my friendship today.

I would be wrong to think that I am not loved this day. Even if I had no other person on earth who knew or loved me personally (and I thank the Lord this day for my parents, brother, and a few other friends), I know without a doubt that the Creator of the universe loves me immensely (Jer. 31:3; John 3:16; 15:13; 1 John 3:16). He demonstrated His love for me in sending His only Son Jesus into the world to suffer, die, and be raised to life for my salvation.

He continues to demonstrate His love for me each day in sustaining the beating of my heart -- a muscle which pumps blood throughout vital areas of my body involuntarily (approximately between 60-80 beats per minute). He has provided me with a means of income, clothing, and food. He has grace and mercy on me minute by minute each day. If no one loved me, His love would most certainly be enough to sustain my weary and lonely heart.

What would be harmful for me (and you) this day is searching for false love. For example, visiting a local pub in order to subside loneliness would be a high risk situation for immorality. The same could be said of visiting a nightclub. The tendency for those of us who experience loneliness is a quick fix, which usually constitutes an anonymous sexual encounter (including watching porn). We must never mistake or confuse sexual indulgence for genuine love or affection.

I have not yet decided what I will actually do on this Valentine's Day. I have many healthy options, and I have a healthy mindset of which I can remind myself throughout the day -- that God loves me with an immeasurable love in and through Christ (BCP, The General Thanksgiving, 101), and that, as the Prayer Book reminds me, I am ever walking in His sight (BCP, A Collect for Guidance, 100). I never walk alone.

Or, I just may take Redbox up on the special offer of a free rental today (codename: SWEET). While I can guarantee that I am not in the mood for a romantic comedy, I was told "Flight" with Denzel Washington is good.